the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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