why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
