I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My hand turned me down
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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