it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
