I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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