is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize