I just threw up on my dentist
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
bring money and cleavage
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
