i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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