I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
