we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
