I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
