I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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