I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
