i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
