I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
