You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
