So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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