oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A bitchslap is in order.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize