Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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