The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
