Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
