i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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