do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
