Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
