That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
