we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
