I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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