Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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