im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize