Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
