Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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