Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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