I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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