I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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