I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
