even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
