the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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