I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
