Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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