When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
