Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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