Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My vagina just recognized that song.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
