I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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