"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
