Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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