The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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