hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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