So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
