He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
