Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize