I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
