I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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