My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize