i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if only i could text you this smell
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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