Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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