I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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