Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize