you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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