are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I touched a dick in church today
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
