Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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