have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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