she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
