I got chris browned last night
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
