Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
