Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize