We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
