im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
