hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
