I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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