we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
