I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize