he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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